This time I got Chair number 10. Not that that matters, it’s just something that sticks to my mind. I feel good now! I feel calm and confident! I am a courageous, positive, loving, passionate, fearless woman – that’s my “mojo” for today’s treatment!
Round 2 – The head nurse, Debbie, greets us and is as wonderful as the last time! I really like her! I make myself comfortable and so does Jane. We have a few hours ahead of us…Debbie tells me my chemo is ordered and she’s sits down. She needs to hook the IV to my port. My port-opening have of course healed…or closed up. Interesting! It didn’t hurt that bad… (Ouch!) Just a burning sensation and that was it! Then she can hook me up to the anti-nausea bags and saline.
Jane is prepared for this session. She brought Mandala Art Coloring books for us to do. It was wonderful to sit and color these Mandala’s for hours. I picked one that made me feel like I was growing from the Center of the earth, and reaching outwards to the Universe. It’s very meditative, and your mind floats away…
Mandalas originally came from Hinduism and Buddhism. Long story short; the re-introduction to Mandalas in the Modern Western thought is owed to Carl Jung, The Swiss (not Swedish) psychoanalyst. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandala
Wake Up! You Chemo is here!
It’s the strangest feeling when you see the tubes of red liquid in 2 big syringes. Very surreal.
They have my name on them! MY NAME! (shit!)
My birth date and year! (double shit!)
Bring it on!
Debbie hooks me up to the Chemo and slowly, manually, injects it. Here it goes… (please read this SLOWLY!)…from the syringe through the tube and up to my port and into my body…I can’t feel it entering…but I can imagine the red liquid going through my veins, through my heart… liver… pancreas… kidneys… bladder… (OK! Unhook me! I have to pee! Drum rolls please…the pee is RED! )
OK. So I sound dramatic again…and I don’t really mean to sound so dramatic! The chemo kills the cancer, but it also makes me feel like shit! Good and bad! Or, good and tough shit! Or, be grateful and suck it up!
In all honesty – I give thanks to the chemo and the effect that it has on my cancer! This is a Journey back to Health!