Archive | May 21, 2014

In the Boxing Ring – Round 2!

This time I got Chair number 10. Not that that matters, it’s just something that sticks to my mind. I feel good now! I feel calm and confident! I am a courageous, positive, loving, passionate, fearless woman – that’s my “mojo” for today’s treatment!

Round 2 – The head nurse, Debbie, greets us and is as wonderful as the last time! I really like her! I make myself comfortable and so does Jane. We have a few hours ahead of us…Debbie tells me my chemo is ordered and she’s sits down. She needs to hook the IV to my port. My port-opening have of course healed…or closed up. Interesting! It didn’t hurt that bad… (Ouch!) Just a burning sensation and that was it! Then she can hook me up to the anti-nausea bags and saline.

Jane is prepared for this session. She brought Mandala Art Coloring books for us to do. It was wonderful to sit and color these Mandala’s for hours. I picked one that made me feel like I was growing from the Center of the earth, and reaching outwards to the Universe. It’s very meditative, and your mind floats away…

Mandalas originally came from Hinduism and Buddhism. Long story short; the re-introduction to Mandalas in the Modern Western thought is owed to Carl Jung, The Swiss (not Swedish) psychoanalyst.

Wake Up! You Chemo is here!

It’s the strangest feeling when you see the tubes of red liquid in 2 big syringes. Very surreal.

They have my name on them! MY NAME! (shit!)

My birth date and year! (double shit!)

I surrender!

Bring it on!

Debbie hooks me up to the Chemo and slowly, manually, injects it. Here it goes… (please read this SLOWLY!)…from the syringe through the tube and up to my port and into my body…I can’t feel it entering…but I can imagine the red liquid going through my veins, through my heart… liver… pancreas… kidneys… bladder… (OK! Unhook me! I have to pee! Drum rolls please…the pee is RED! )

OK. So I sound dramatic again…and I don’t really mean to sound so dramatic! The chemo kills the cancer, but it also makes me feel like shit! Good and bad! Or, good and tough shit! Or, be grateful and suck it up!

In all honesty – I give thanks to the chemo and the effect that it has on my cancer! This is a Journey back to Health!

My Journey!









This entry was posted on May 21, 2014. 9 Comments

In Preparation for Round 2!

I was a nervous wreck before my second chemo…I must say maybe even worse than the first time. I knew what was going to happen, and how hard it was the first time to keep the nausea at bay…

I signed in…I had my friend Jane with me. We were a little late (I was okay with that – yes, I was!) Then I got called into the Doctors office…That’s the routine. First I see the nurse. I have to weigh myself. They want to see if you lost any weight. The chemo concoction is measured according to your weight, and the Lab results. The chemo is mixed right then and there. Amazing! (Side note – If my wonderful neighbors continue to feed me like they do…I will most likely gain weight and maybe need heavier chemo! Oh No!)

The nurse takes my blood pressure, temp, and asks me some questions…the normal stuff.  Then the Doctor Enters… *I need some music here…Dramatic entrance like… DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUN*

It’s not really like she knew I had this “butterfly swarm” in my stomach…and she’s not very dramatic person at all…it’s just my interpretation of what I felt like before she came in…I wanted to turn away… But, she entered and she sat down…and I stayed!  She asked me how I was doing after the first Chemo and she said “you must have been doing pretty good, because I only heard from you once! (Yes, I called her once…I had a very important question…Not! And…I have to admit, I wanted to see if she would call me back, or if a nurse would call. Dr. Stone called shortly after and answered my suuuper important question) I did good, but had some really tough days…and it’s not like I’m going to call the Doctor when I feel super nauseated, dizzy, disconnected, constipated, chest pain, back pain, and just blaha…blaha…or??? Hm!

I told the Doc I was very scared this time, and she said she could see it in my face. She put her hand over mine and told me to talk to her…So I did. After I was done, Dr. Stone became this super motivational Speaker!  She told me what I should change in my diet, and she added a nausea (acid reducer) medicine.”Do this, do that…Give me an F! Give me an I! Give an L! Give me another I! Give me two P’s! Give me an A! What does that spell???? F I L I P P A!!! Woohoo!!!

Not really! But after her speech I felt 100% ready to go to “the chair”!

Story Continues…


This entry was posted on May 21, 2014. 2 Comments

First thing First…

Last Tuesday, May 13th, one of my very best friends flew in from the LA to stay with me (us) for one week! Jane (the Queen :o) and I have known each other for 24 years….as long as Brian and I have been married!

Jane is such a nurturer and down- to- earth woman….She was there for me after I had surgery in 2007 and nurtured me back to health…She has seen my good, bad and ugly side (for sure!)  She recently became an Art Therapist, and landed a fantastic job in LA…And while we were at Cleveland Clinic (for my second chemo treatment – more about that later) she got a job offer as an Art Therapist at the Oncology Department at CC!  WHAT?!? Seriously! I felt like I was the third wheel in Dr. Stone’s office ;o)…Dr. Stone and Jane totally forgot about ME! Hello – This is about me, me, me…LOL! Just kidding!)

Thanks My Queen, for being there for me and Brian. Thanks for your love, laughter, walking the dogs, long talks, art therapy stuff. Thanks for being a good listener, and thanks for shaving my head!

Much Love,


This entry was posted on May 21, 2014. 3 Comments