In the Boxing Ring – Round 2!

This time I got Chair number 10. Not that that matters, it’s just something that sticks to my mind. I feel good now! I feel calm and confident! I am a courageous, positive, loving, passionate, fearless woman – that’s my “mojo” for today’s treatment!

Round 2 – The head nurse, Debbie, greets us and is as wonderful as the last time! I really like her! I make myself comfortable and so does Jane. We have a few hours ahead of us…Debbie tells me my chemo is ordered and she’s sits down. She needs to hook the IV to my port. My port-opening have of course healed…or closed up. Interesting! It didn’t hurt that bad… (Ouch!) Just a burning sensation and that was it! Then she can hook me up to the anti-nausea bags and saline.

Jane is prepared for this session. She brought Mandala Art Coloring books for us to do. It was wonderful to sit and color these Mandala’s for hours. I picked one that made me feel like I was growing from the Center of the earth, and reaching outwards to the Universe. It’s very meditative, and your mind floats away…

Mandalas originally came from Hinduism and Buddhism. Long story short; the re-introduction to Mandalas in the Modern Western thought is owed to Carl Jung, The Swiss (not Swedish) psychoanalyst.

Wake Up! You Chemo is here!

It’s the strangest feeling when you see the tubes of red liquid in 2 big syringes. Very surreal.

They have my name on them! MY NAME! (shit!)

My birth date and year! (double shit!)

I surrender!

Bring it on!

Debbie hooks me up to the Chemo and slowly, manually, injects it. Here it goes… (please read this SLOWLY!)…from the syringe through the tube and up to my port and into my body…I can’t feel it entering…but I can imagine the red liquid going through my veins, through my heart… liver… pancreas… kidneys… bladder… (OK! Unhook me! I have to pee! Drum rolls please…the pee is RED! )

OK. So I sound dramatic again…and I don’t really mean to sound so dramatic! The chemo kills the cancer, but it also makes me feel like shit! Good and bad! Or, good and tough shit! Or, be grateful and suck it up!

In all honesty – I give thanks to the chemo and the effect that it has on my cancer! This is a Journey back to Health!

My Journey!









9 thoughts on “In the Boxing Ring – Round 2!

  1. Filippa, thank you for starting this blog and sharing your journey. Love and light to you my friend, will be praying and sending energy your way. Hello to Brian as well. Hugs:)

  2. hi,
    I just wanted to say how moving your blog is. I am so sorry for all of the things you are going though. Hope everything works it and I know you will do great! Please keep in touch!
    Beth (trevor’s girlfriend)

  3. My dear, dear Filippa! I sooo wish I was there by your side during this journey but please know that I think about you A LOT! I have not had the chance to read your blog for a while but I’m finally ‘back online’ and have caught up. Thanks for sharing this way. I know you are strong and determined (and stubborn as few…. LOL) and you have a fabulous support network around you in FL and elsewhere. I love your positive attitude and you open mind – it will get you far. I AM WITH YOU from afar. Love you lots my friend!!!

  4. Courage and the strength to share so your Journey To Life for others to see and to take comfort from. I love you Filippa for Just being this wonderful healing place. I think one of my physicians is going through the same thing as you, but she chides to close up.. What you are doing is bringing life, light and love to others. I make a great chemotherapy buddy. Have done it for a friend before. So count me in your list. My phone is 5618701923.

    Lissette MG (met you at Grattitude and we almost staffed together!)

  5. Thank you for sharing your journey, Filippa. My thoughts, my love, my energy, my power are all directed toward you during your treatment and are focused on your full recovery. Your strength, gratitude, and love touches so many people. Please let me know if I can support you in any way.

  6. Sweet Brave Filippa! Thank you for sharing your journey so we all can support you in our own way. I am sending you love, prayers and light many times a day, every day! Lot’s of love, Outi

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