I met with my Oncology Surgeon Monday morning, Dr Blake. She’s a beautiful “power house”. I have done four chemos, and it’s time to switch to another kind of chemo. Dr. Blake who’s going to do my surgery wanted to see me to talk about the surgery and also tell me about my options.
My cancer has shrunk for sure! Even I can tell! A good sign! Celebration! My lymph nodes that was almost as big as a grape size is now smaller than a pea…My breast lump, that I could never feel myself, is also much smaller according to the Doc.
She talked about my surgery and it’s pretty much up to me what to do.
In a way I don’t want it to be up to me…I want the doctor to tell me what to do…That way I can get out of making a decision. I know – That’s pretty lame! Not wanting to deal with it. It’s a big decision…
I do not have to make a decision right away. I can think about it until we see each other again, in late August…Here are my options:
- The least invasive is (of course) is the lumpectomy where they only take out the lump in the breast and the lymph nodes under my arm. The Doc don’t know (yet) if she can save any of my lymph nodes…Remains to be seen…The chances of the cancer coming back is slightly higher.
- To do a lumpectomy. Take the right breast and do a reconstructive surgery. They can’t do the reconstructive surgery at the same time (which would have been great…”two birds with one stone”) because the new “saline boob” can’t handle the radiation (which I have to have after the surgery). Also…this might be very vain…but it’s what going through my head…If I choose this…and let’s say in 20 years from now. My right boob will be perky and young looking, and my left boob will be a small pouch hanging and looking sad…hm…
- To do a double mastectomy. Take both breasts. My first reaction was “I don’t want to remove something that is perfectly healthy and good”. BUT, if it reduces my chances of getting the cancer back – the yes! Then again, I can’t do a reconstructive surgery right away because of the radiation after wards. I most likely have to wait one year to do it…I really don’t want to go through another surgery after all this…It’s really taxing on the body and psyche. And it’s not good for the body to get anesthesia too many times…
I DO realize that I’m lucky to have these options. I’m also scared to make the wrong decision…Many women with breast cancer don’t have a choice. I do.
During this time, until I see Dr. Blake again, I will gather all the questions I have, and weigh the pros and cons. Ask what the chances are of the breast cancer coming back with these different options…Time to reflect.
The date for the surgery is booked for September 11th!
I must say I have “picked” the most memorable dates going through this Journey!
- On April 1st – I got diagnosed with Breast Cancer. April fool’s day! (I wish!)
- On May 1st – I started my Chemotherapy treatment. May Day, Walpurgis (Valborg)
- On 9/11 – I’m having surgery. I don’t think I have to say anything about this date.
Dates I will never forget!
Maybe I should finish up by having my last appointment on Halloween?