I’m trying to recollect if I was looking forward to my last treatment or how I felt?
“Looking forward” might be the wrong word….more like “Having it over and done with…” sounds better!
What I did know was, that I wanted to remember it. Memorize it… My last Chemo treatment on 08/14/14! (I just love my ‘magical numbers’…I have one more that ‘just happened’. Later)
I wanted a picture of that last drop! FINITO! Pffffftttttt….Done! Did you hear me??? DONE!!! D O N E!
I went through the normal procedure; first I saw Dr. Stone (who was not that late). It was great to see her. It always is…just too bad it is under these circumstances.
I actually had a box of chocolate with me to her. A Swedish “Paradis” chocolate box. Delivered directly from Sweden by my sister. I was thinking about wrapping it but decided not to. What if they (I’m not sure who “they” are…) but I was actually thinking “they” might think it’s a bomb if I wrap it…I’m not kidding! That’s what I was thinking.
So, I put it on Dr. Stone’s desk. After she came in, and sat down, I told her “This is for you. I didn’t wrap it just in case you thought it was a bomb…or ‘somebody else’ might think it was a bomb… if it was wrapped… It’s Swedish chocolate…Thank you so much for everything!”
She looked at me (as if I was nuts…hm?) laughed and said “You really don’t have the character of being a bomber…I think I’m a pretty good judge of that…and we’re not done with each other yet for a while!”
I must have looked like a ghost because she quickly said “Yes! This is your last chemo!” The blood must have come back to my face, and she said “I need to see you before your surgery and after…Okay? Plus every 3 to 6 months after that…”
We talked and she told me my blood count looked pretty good and that we could skip the Neulasta shot, the day after. Her opinion was that my body could handle the chemo and for my body to build up the immune system by itself (meaning me-self!) Eating good (meaning hubby’s cooking!)
I was happy to hear I could skip the Neulasta shot because (I though) this was the culprit that made me feel like I was coming down with the flu… (YOU – little nasty Neulasta shot…)
When I got into the chemo room I walked right up to “my nurse” Debbie and said I wanted her today. She said “I want you too!” ;o) … Only chair no 4 was available…The chair with no TV…Still broken! Decided it didn’t really matter to me, or my sister Maria. We had books to read and Facebook to enjoy…and sleep (for me).
I memorized my last chemo treatment with pictures… “Debbie and me” selfie. “Eating lunch” picture and “Last Drop” picture! Yay! Walked out of the chemo room, for the last time, throwing kisses to the staff (they got chocolate too…unwrapped!), tired, happy, elated… just happy it was over.
Hard to understand it was over. It is over.
Hard for it to sink in…I will not feel like crap and lay on the couch every other weekend from now on.
Got home and I had beautiful flowers waiting for me. I had kindly told Brian I would shoot him… (see…there is a little bomber in me!!!) if he didn’t by me flowers. So, he did! Very pretty!
(Plus, I received a very sweet gift from my neighbor!)
Last but not least…the weekend turned out to be crappy! F-ing crappy! Here I have been blaming the Neulasta shot for making me (feel) sick…and I was just as sick without it. Oh well…
It’s Monday and I’m feeling a little bit better every day. A little bit more energy every day… Wondering WHEN I can have a glass of wine…Is that a healthy thought?
“The Journey after Chemo” continues…